Jeff Bezos.

Photo: Michael Kovac/Getty Graphics for Moet & Chandon

In a
joint declaration
on Twitter past, Amazon President and
not too long ago enthusiast
guy Jeff Bezos and his awesome partner, MacKenzie, revealed that they are breaking up after 25 years of relationship. “although the brands may be various, we stay a household, and in addition we remain cherished friends.” Another label that might apply at Jeff now: insatiable billionaire sext device.

According to a report from

Nationwide Enquirer,

prior to publicly announcing his split, Bezos began seeing previous TV host Lauren Sanchez, and texted her things final spring like, “I would like to smell you, i wish to breathe you in. I Wish To hold you tight.… I want to hug your lips…. I adore you. I am obsessed about you.” In addition, in a missive presumably drawn up by Alexa:

“I like you, lively girl. I’ll demonstrate with my human anatomy, and my mouth and my personal eyes, quickly.”

I love you, live woman.

I like you, alive lady.

I adore you, ALIVE woman.

I adore you, ALIVE LADY.

I REALLY LIKE YOU, alive girl.

I FAVOR YOU ALIVE GIRL I LOVE YOU LIVE GIRL I ADORE YOU ALIVE LADY NOT DEAD-ALIVE.

You never know if these messages are genuine. The determination behind these leakages is actually suspicious —


the

Enquirer

is had by David Pecker, a detailed friend of one of Bezos’s most significant experts, chairman Trump,


and it’s also not ever been the quintessential honest source. A lawyer for Bezos told the tabloid it absolutely was “widely understood” that the Bezoses happened to be “long separated,” but failed to touch upon the veracity regarding the sexts.

Whether these communications are real or otherwise not, regrettably, the term “I love you, alive lady,” has entered our cursed, collective conscience. Was it a typo? Performed the guy imply to express, “i really like you a lot woman?” Was Bezos dicktating (my lol) his sexts to Alexa? Once you ask Jeff Bezos exactly what he looks for in somebody really does the guy only state, “Alive girl,” and that is it?

Unless Bezos continues Raya and starts playing industry, we may never know the response to these questions. We are going to simply sit in our bedrooms overnight, troubled, sleep eluding all of our exhausted grasps and the words “i really like you, alive woman,” playing on an endless cycle within our broken minds, permanently, until the audience is no longer lively girls.


Upgraded, January, 10 2019, 5:56 p.m.:

In a follow-up with their first post, the

Enquirer

released, amid different salacious boasts, one endearingly wholesome book Bezos presumably delivered Sanchez. Through the

Enquirer

:

“guess what happens Needs? I want to get somewhat drunk along with you tonight. Not falling down. Somewhat drunk. I do want to communicate with you and prepare to you. Listen and laugh … we fundamentally WISH TO BE THROUGH YOU!!! Then I wish drift off with you and awake tomorrow and study the report with you and get coffee with you.”

Wow, great job, Alexa.